More Than Just a Letter

Stored for eight years, a letter inside a personal Memory Book continued to give inspiration and courage to the young girl to whom it belonged. In 2006, Memory Books were delivered to hundreds of Congolese children living as refugees escaping the rebel war of their homeland. Each Sunday hundreds of children, including this young girl, assembled together, often times walking great distances through rainstorms to hear lessons about their worth and purpose. Pastor Iongwa, General Secretary Innocent, and dozens of adults held Memory Book Club every Sunday for eight years, growing to 1400 children - each with their own personal Memory Book telling their story.

Recently, we received a message from a 19-year-old girl who had received her Memory Book in 2006, and had recently graduated secondary school. Inside was the very letter a woman named Izetta had written and placed inside to encourage and inspire whomever the book eventually belonged.

The message from the young girl read like this, “I am remembering a letter I received from Izetta that encouraged me to go far and work hard on my studies…now my little dream seems to have come true.”

A Memory Book may look like a silly idea for children who have such desperate needs in a world of war, poverty, and disease.  The words in the letter penned by Izetta may have been difficult to come by, but truly every letter delivered inside a Memory Book can inspire and encourage a child to overcome and achieve their dreams.

Priceless Treasure

For the past three years, along with co-authors Dr. Barb Braband and Dr. Kaye Wilson Anderson, I have interviewed dozens of children who have a personal Memory Book in South Africa, India, and Kenya, in an effort to uncover the value of telling their stories. The initial research “Evaluating the use of a memory book by children orphaned in South Africa” has been published in The Journal of Pediatric Nursing, July/August 2014 issue. More recently, research looking at all three countries of South Africa, Kenya, and India where children are using a memory book reveals this simple tool produces similar themes of focus for children living in Africa or Southeast Asia: identity, relationships, emotion, coping, and hope.

Whether words, drawings, stored mementos, or photographs, children are preserving memories of lived experiences while growing up with traumatic loss. Most children were eager to reveal the contents of their personal memory book, often pondering over photos and returning to pages to read and reread what they had written.

When asked, “What is your favorite thing in your Memory Book?” many children pointed to the letter to God they had written. Some children pointed to the letter they had written to a parent who “was no more.” One young girl removed a letter from where it had been kept and began to read the letter addressed to herself. “I remember the day I was told my mother had died. I remember the dress I wore, the smell of cooking, and the sadness on my grandmother’s face. My brother and I were the only ones left when all our family members died.  I am thankful for my life.”

When finished she neatly refolded the letter and placed it inside her Memory Book; a valuable keepsake representing the themes children are preserving inside this “priceless treasure” - identity, relationships, coping, emotion, and hope - after so much as been lost.

It Matters to All of Us

Ten years ago, I began a journey that took me to places across oceans and continents, most places hidden from notoriety, at the end of dirt roads, for one simple reason: to bring awareness to the presence of unresolved grief deep inside men, women, and children experiencing traumatic losses of people and things dear to them.

My recently published book, “I Am Somebody, Telling Your Story Matters,” chronicles that amazing journey and how a simple Memory Book (journal) began to help children who grieve make their own journey through the grief process and discover resiliency and hope to live life by telling their stories.

One of the most common responses by readers of “I Am Somebody” reinforces the common held belief by those who specialize in loss and grief: everyone is grieving something because life is filled with loss, great and small. Whether we are orphaned, a recent amputee, a student denied entry to the college of their dreams, an entrepreneur experiencing failure, or a family facing the death of a child, grief accompanies all loss.  While symptoms are unique to individuals, the grief response to loss is a universal internal response among all of us. What I am told by readers is, “I never realized I was still grieving, or I never realized I grieved over that.”

You may have thought “I Am Somebody” is simply about orphaned children in Africa or India, but it really is about all of us.

'Discovering Your Giftedness' in Tanzania

During the past few months, Innocent, Memory Book Club Coordinator at Group Misa Congolese refugee camp in Tanzania, has alerted us to the influx of 70,000 Burundians fleeing their homeland due to turmoil surrounding impending elections of a new president. These refugees swell the ranks of Groups Misa by thousands, putting greater strain on limited food, shelter, schools, and jobs.

Burundian C. Bonne has operated a Memory Book Club in Bujumbura for the past two years. He, along with four facilitators and hundreds of Burundian children, have been invited to join the Memory Book Club at Group Misa that serves 1400. (You may recall reading a previous blog about the need for bathrooms for the growing number of children who come to this Memory Book Club.)

Innocent reports the children have been introduced to our 4th Year Lesson Planner that teaches children ‘Discovering Your Giftedness.’ Innocent says the lesson has received a good response and the children are appreciative. The boys and girls travel by foot from many parts of the camp early in the morning and stay late into the day.

It is a privilege to learn children have the opportunity to congregate in a safe and supportive environment such as our Memory Book Club. For the next year, children will learn the difference between talented and gifted, and be encouraged to set out to discover which gift(s) God has for each of them. Join me in praying for the Group Misa Memory Book Club, that children will continue to experience healing, grow emotionally, and discover their lives matter.

- Tamara Faris, Founder, Memory Books for Children International

The Power of Telling Our Stories

Recently I received an email from a pastor in Kenya who has partnered with Memory Books and operated a Memory Book Club in the poorest of neighborhoods, Ronda. Following the recent killing of University students in Kenya, he suggested he conduct the training sessions for adults working with grieving children, a session I had originally planned to conduct during 2015.

104 adults attended the two-day training session. They had come to hear about the use of a Memory Book by children to preserve and tell their personal stories of loss of people and things dear to them. When the pastor began to share his own story of loss of his father when only one day old, and a life of poverty and struggles that followed, the attendees discovered this event was as much about their own lives as it was about the children they served.

With the invitation to stand and share a personal story, those in attendance began to reveal stories of life’s greatest tragedies previously buried deep within. Where local customs prevented mention of the dead, or public expressions of grief and sadness by men, in the safety and acceptance of this venue, men openly cried and women remembered the loss of those who made them orphans. The two-day session stretched to three when everyone took advantage of the gift of healing by sharing their stories.

When given the opportunity, sharing our stories of loss and life can produce healing by melting frozen grief inside, and provide awareness we are not alone in our loss.

If you want to know more about the use of Memory Books for children who  have experienced loss, please contact us at info@memorybooks4children.com.

Refugees, Restrooms, and Restoration

Earlier this year. I received an email from a pastor leading a large group of Congolese refugees living on the border between Tanzania and the Dem. Rep. of the Congo. Reports are that tens of thousands of adults and children who fled rebel war in their native country of the Congo are virtually held behind fencing at the border with Tanzania. The circumstances are dire because they cannot return home nor enter the country of Tanzania. The pastor says they will surely be killed by rebels who threaten their lives for fleeing, but are held inside fencing without the basic needs of food, housing, work or school. They remain in limbo after years of being refugees.

In 2006, Memory Books for Children received an envelope of several hundred children’s photos requesting help. Confused I questioned whether a Memory Book would be useful to children with such great need. Quietly in my spirit, I reminded myself they surely have lost everything as a refugee, including their beloved homeland. Why wouldn’t the opportunity to preserve and tell their personal stories help heal the wounds from loss, and inspire resiliency and hope for a future?

Today, the pastor’s email conveys concern for the Memory Book Club operating inside the refugee camp. Oh my, I thought, I never dreamed we would face bad news from our efforts to make children’s lives better.

His email revealed this month 1400 children attended Memory Book Club. Each month more and more children learn about the club, often through word-of-mouth. The attending children invite other children to come and experience  Memory Book Club for themselves. The problem is, they need bathrooms for this many children to maintain the quality of the club events because club is held in open air setting where children have nowhere to relieve themselves.

"What?" I thought to myself.  Of course, without bathrooms, children are at risk of acquiring disease and illness due to fecal matter littering the grounds where they walk.

Immediately, my husband and I requested plans and estimated costs from the pastor. The pastor’s plans include 4 buildings to house 10 bathrooms each including a storage room for supplies and equipment, at a cost of $9,000.00 per building. We have offered to sponsor two buildings at a cost of $18.000.00,

We look forward to hearing about the completion of the restrooms for use by children and adults at Memory Book Club. My hope and prayer is Ron and I will be able to travel to Kasulu, Tanzania, not to see restrooms but the 1400 children who come to Memory Book Club each month to celebrate the discovery, ‘My life matters to God. I am somebody.’

- By Tamara Faris, Founder, Memory Books for Children International

Inside a Congolese Refugee Camp

A story from a Congolese refugee camp in Tanzania, known as Group Misa:

One day, two girls visited the house of a teen boy they knew. They had not seen him recently; he had been suffering from depression and lost the desire to hang out with friends, play soccer, or go to school.  The two girls brought him a ‘paper plate crown’ with pencils and plastic gems, just like the ones they had made at Memory Book Club earlier that week. They told the teen he would feel better to have a crown representing his life as a child of God.

The girls invited him to come with them to Memory Book Club. He went and witnessed children standing and sharing their stories. What impacted him the most was the affirmation and kindness shown to children who openly grieved and expressed long held emotions and pain from the experiences they had lived. The teen felt accepted as a part of this amazing group of children, discovering for himself a safe place to share the shattered pieces of his life. He learned he was not alone and his life mattered to God.  Memory Book Club helped him  discover a life worth living, and it was all because his friends invited him to become a part of it.

The Good of a Scrapbook

I once had a gentleman ask me, “What good is a scrapbook to an orphan? Aren’t there other things that are more important?"

He was not the first to express skepticism over the use of a Memory Book by orphaned or vulnerable children living with great losses and need. Most pioneering work or inventions require proof of evidence-based outcomes to validate their usefulness. 

After 10 years of distributing 25,000 Memory Books among vulnerable children living across Africa, India, Haiti, Mexico, and America, The Journal of Pediatric Nursing in their July/August 2014 issue has published research evaluating the use Memory Books by orphaned children in South Africa

In 2012, 30 South African orphaned children were interviewed by me and my co-authors, Dr. Kaye Wilson-Anderson and Dr. Barb Braband, related to the use of a Memory Book to preserve and tell their stories.

The preservation of memories through the children's drawings and stories allow for expressing their thoughts and feelings using words and techniques they themselves understand, while the revisiting of those preserved images and memories has the capacity to yield greater understanding, insight, and truthfulness with time and age.

A young Rwandan man expressed feelings of guilt over hiding instead of helping his family as they were viciously murdered. His drawing depicted a small boy hiding from hatchet-wielding men. As he matured, he realized his guilt was misguided, because he was not a formidable force against the murderers, but the small boy in the drawing incapable of saving his family.

It is my hope the evidenced-based outcomes of this research, which explore the use of a Memory Book by children following traumatic events such as orphanhood, will raise awareness to how a simple scrapbook can produce profound results by helping children discover they are unique and special, with a God-given purpose in this world. God can give meaning to the experiences we have lived, giving inspiration and elevating the hopes and dreams of countless others.

What the Children Say

Recently, Bruce and Anita Paden, missionaries in DR Congo, Africa reported 6th grade children attending New Hope Center for Grieving Children in Goma were asked about their own personal memory book and what it means to them. Their responses are an amazing window into what we have always hoped would happen when children were given an opportunity to tell their stories.

Here are some of their responses:

·      My memory book helped me to know when I was born, the meaning of my name, and the family history.

·      It helped me to remember my life and express myself in French.

·      My memory book helped me to learn that God knew me before I was even born, and that He’s the creator. I am proud to know a God like that and that I am important to Him.

·      I have value. I am somebody.

·      It helped me to learn about my past.

·      My memory book helped me to have an idea about our families

·      It helps me remember my school, its history, my friends, my favorite teachers and to have a love for my school.

·      My memory book helps me to dream about the future for instance to want to build my own center like New Hope Center and to help orphans like us and to always remember New Hope.

·      It helps me live in society.

·      It has helped me to be thankful to God.

·      It has given me a taste to study and decide what classes I would be interested in to take later on.

·      We can even write to our parents who are dead. It is good to remember them.

·      The last page reveals something that might be hidden inside us.

The Paden’s ask that we join them in prayer on June 16, African Children’s Day. Please join Memory Books for Children in praying for the Paden’s and the New Hope Center serving children living in one of the most dangerous places on earth.

Founder Tamara Faris in a Goma marketplace with the young girl and seamstress who made her traditional African dress.

The Significance of the Insignificant

In January 2014, Terri Harrison, International Liaison of Memory Books for Children, traveled to Uganda where she spent 3 1/2 weeks serving in two orphanages that we support. Below, she tells her story:

It was a great pleasure this last January to have traveled to Uganda alongside a multi-church team from Abundant Life Church in Oregon. We spent 3 1/2 weeks at two orphanages. Almost 1,000 children received a Memory Book and participated in the Memory Book Club. As we taught the lessons and did the crafts, the children began to give voice to their stories. Most of the children we encountered were from the Acholi tribe that suffered horrible atrocities at the hands of Joseph Kony, leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army. Many of the children told us how they watched rebels kill their families. The Memory Books were a vital tool in bringing healing from the past and hope for the future to many.  

My involvement with Memory Books started six years ago when my daughter took a mission trip to an orphanage in Mexico. Tamara Faris, founder of Memory Books, offered to donate 100 Memory Books in Spanish if we would help assemble them. I can still remember a prayer Tamara offered the night of assembly. She said, “Lord, we take this simple paper, plastic, and cardboard that means nothing and we offer it to You. Take what we’ve done tonight and use it for Your glory in the lives of the children.”

I was hooked! I began volunteering two hours a week helping with the ministry in whatever way I could, gradually assisting more with administrative needs and eventually joining the Board.
When the opportunity came to visit Uganda, I jumped at it. Landing on Africa’s plains covered in the red dirt of Uganda was a moment when God poured into my heart the significance of the insignificant. As I unpacked the boxes of Memory Books and craft kits to give to the children, I was reminded of the work that went into each item to make such a ministry possible. I had spent years making books, cutting yarn, counting scissors, and packing boxes. Now I was on the other end seeing those efforts impacting the heart of a child. 

Though this was my first time traveling internationally to serve the less fortunate, I realized then that I had in many ways entered the mission field a long time ago. I had touched hearts and lives around the world when I donated clothes or supplies. Any money I had given entered into the kingdom of God and became a weapon of love on the front lines. When I prayed, others were helped. Nothing was too small, nothing was insignificant. So many times we look for the big fanfare or fireworks in our actions. Yet it’s the choices in my daily routine that came together and made me an international missionary.

When it was time to get back on the plane, I realized that I’m not done with Uganda, or maybe Uganda isn’t done with me. Either way, I am looking forward to returning in the near future. I look forward to visiting more orphanages in other countries, bringing Memory Books and God’s love with me so that every child will know that they are somebody significant.